Short
by Fraulein Hilde
Summary: Ed and Kain discuss something they both have in common.


Title: Short

Summary: Ed and Kain discuss something they both have in common.

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"I will never ever fall in love with a woman taller than me."

Kain briefly wondered if this had become some sort of mantra for his strikingly short companion, Edward Elric. Perhaps the young man repeated it to his reflection in the mirror everyday as some sort of reminder, or perhaps in an effort to convince himself. A mental image of this brought a faint smile to Kain's lips.

"I just absolutely will NOT ever like a woman who's taller than me! It just won't happen."

The statement had started out as fierce, but had ended very calmly. Like it was a simple fact, something that was just so entirely factual and truthful, and inconceivable as being any other way, that for it to happen would be an act of defying the very law of nature itself. It seemed to contain some of the very essence of the person, Edward, himself, revealing his deepest fears, sorrows, hopes, and dreams, but only to those, like Kain, who knew Edward well enough to be aware of those things.

Kain glanced at Edward, wondering just how much his friend was able to fool himself. He doubted Edward was such a fool as to truly believe his own words. But he also understood the pride behind them. Edward's apparent vanity was anything but that. It was merely a longing to be his true self. Kain understood that in some small way. He thought Edward understood too.

"Hey, I understand how you feel," Kain was careful to keep his voice neutral, "After all, it would hardly make you look like the legend that you are, right?" Perhaps Kain needed to play a little devil's advocate.

"What the hell are you talking about? Legend! What's that got to do with anything? I'm talking about love, and women, and, well, you know what I mean!" Edward's voice spluttered to a halt as he rose half-way up out of his seat.

"Ah," murmured Kain, "you mean sex."

Edward's face turned red, and he opened his mouth as though he wanted to say something, but lacked the air in his lungs to push the words out of his mouth. Kain smothered a smile and continued.

"Oh come on Edward. If you know anything at all about love, and women, then you must know it doesn't make a bit of difference if the woman you love happens to be taller than you." Kain was openly smiling as he tilted his head to watch Edward's face. "And the same thing goes for having sex with a woman taller than you."

"Sure, sure, like you're an expert, huh?" Edward was clearly out of his element, and desperate to hide it.

"No, Edward, I'm not an expert. But I have been in love. And, as for sex..."

"Aghh! I don't want to hear this!" Edward sat back down in his chair with a thump, gazing dumbfoundedly at his friend, almost speechless, for once in his life. "R... really?"

Kain, thoroughly enjoying his friend's reaction paused for dramatic effect, leaned forward, and narrowing his eyes whispered, "Oh yes."

With a sharp intake of breath, Edward too leant forward, his voice almost inaudible as he stuttered out, "W.. what was it like?"

Kain, who had managed to keep a straight face so far, sat back and sighed almost wistfully. "Oh Edward, it was so beautiful. I just loved being ..."

Edward, leaned forward even more, if possible, nodded along. "...And...?"

"Well, you know Edward, some things aren't really meant to be shared."

"Well...what...huh? What do you mean by that?"

Kain sent Edward his most piercing look. "Let me put it this way, Edward. I may not be an officer, yet, but I am a gentleman. That means that if I share the details with you, well, frankly, I have to kill you."

Edward just sat there, staring at Kain, trying to decide what to think. The look on Edward's face was just too much for Kain. He couldn't keep a straight face anymore. As the laughter bubbled to the surface he got up and started moving backwards, because he knew what was coming.

"Kain, you jackass, you idiot, you poor excuse for a friend! I'm gonna kick your ass!"

Kain was now at the door, and jumped through it, barring it from the outside. He knew it would only take a moment for Edward to get the door open, but at least he'd have a head start.

"Once again I'm gonna get my ass kicked, but sometimes it's worth it." Kain kept repeating this phrase to himself as he raced away as fast as his short legs would let him.


End file.
